Sunday, August 29, 2010

Beach Art

My kids built this o the local beach.  School starts tomorrow, and I am sad to see the summer go. I am deeply ambiguous about how our local "good" schools are education my kids.  I'm not sure I have the chops to home school, and as I am the only one with a paying job at the moment, it is not really an option.

 I also have my own school issues.  Back when I was a child ( when dinosaurs roamed the earth) bullying was just a fact of life.  The fact that both my brother and I considered suicide to escape from the constant teasing, bullying, and physical abuse we suffered at the hands of our classmates- well that was just more evidence that it was our problem. If we hadn't been so weird, then we wouldn't be bullied, right?

Despite being very, very bright kids, my brother and I both barely graduated from high school ( his an expensive private school, mine a public alternative school. I actually made the stupid but deliberate choice to move away from the parent who loved me to the parent who did not, just because I was so afraid of the school .) We both had mediocre college careers, and while I fell into being a nurse, and am very happy with my job, I could have done a lot more with these brains.My brother, who was really a brilliant child, has worked for a bank most of his adult life, never married, never really recovered from his school years. I try to keep my own past out of it, but it's like trying to run away from my own shadow.

So, I will put on a happy face as I send them off- we went through the supplies, packed the backpacks, and so forth today.  They both got haircuts and picked out what they wanted to wear, and I will be happy and cheerful and reassuring until they get into their new classrooms, hopefully to have good school years with teachers who see the goodness and smartness in them.

And then, me and my shadow will walk home.


Magpie Sue said...

I know there have always been school bullies. I was fortunate not to be tortured for long by one (we moved away thank goodness). My kids are grown but my oldest granddaughter is starting kindergarten next week and the thought of the scale bullying has grown to truly frightens me for her sake.

Anonymous said...

Oh my dear- I know exactly where you are coming from. I get anxious passing SHHS. Painful memories-eeekk!!
Maggie in MI

AlisonH said...

Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I was bullied, but not like that. I want to wrap my arms around your child-self and make it all right.

And to thank you for all of us out there for having the courage to say that out loud.