Settling In

The new job? The one that was causing me despair? I'm better now, thanks for asking. The hard part about it- being all over the hospital, working with all departments, discharge planners, home health, hospice, out patient services- pretty much everything the hospital has to offer- the hard part is I have to see where the hospital fails its people. Its patient people and its worker people. I hear every weird story there is to tell, and some of them are true. I see overworked people frantically trying to shift some of their overload to me, and I ain't taking it. I see department clashing over which is whose and whose is whats.

But, I also see where people work together, even when none of us know exactly how to solve the problem. Little groups of nurses and doctors and family and patients, all trying to figure out how we do something we've never done, how to fix problems we've never heard of before, how to make sick people well and hurt people better. So, yeah it's ok.

Knitting: I'm making this.

Sewing- I'm obsessed. I'm taking a class next month, and I have now got a new way to spend money and get goods inefficiently. ( You know, like knitting socks. Why just buy socks when you can spend thirty hours a pair knitting them?)

My little son keeps telling me he's not going to ever grow up. I keep having violent stabs of fear that this means he will die young. It happens, you know, all the time, for no reason. I just don't want it to happen to him. I think it means that he likes being who he is, and that he lives totally in the present, as he should. But I don't think that I will ever be un-broken after my time as a pediatric nurse, especially a PICU nurse.